Prof. Sam Lehman-Wilzig – Beyond “I Am Sorry”
During these ten Days of Repentance, we are urged again and again to turn to others with these three words: “Please Forgive Me” or “I am Sorry.” They are important, of course, but not the most important – or most difficult – to say. There is a different “triplet” that is more important and psychologically harder.
When we ask forgiveness, it is usually for something that we have done to another person or a limited group of people. Here the damage is limited in scope, even if at times deeply hurtful. However, as we have come to see recently in increasing frequency around the world, there is a “sin” that can cause far greater harm to a larger number of people: disinformation.
First, it’s important to understand the difference between “disinformation” and “misinformation.” The latter is a function of error: I thought that something was true, but it turns out that it isn’t, and I spread it further. For that, “I am sorry” is appropriate. Disseminating “disinformation,” is a willful misleading of others, when the communicator should have known, could easily have discovered, or worst of all, actually did know that the information being transmitted onward was incorrect.
In such a case, “I am sorry” is not enough, because psychological research has proven that once any sort of information is sent out and read/heard by others, they will tend to recall this initial “information” far more than subsequent, contradictory information, or backtracking the initial contents. This is especially true if the main message from the purveyor is “I am sorry that I sent you this…” – because the emotional “sorry” is recalled a lot more than the revised information itself. It is only when the ensuing message (after the initial disinformation or misinformation) focuses on the text/message and not on the sender, that there’s a real chance of the audience deleting from memory (and stopping to act on it) the former “information” and replacing it with the new, correct information.
So, what are the three hardest words? “I WAS WRONG”. Of course, taken by themselves these three words don’t say much, but a person can’t say “I was wrong” without continuing to explain what s/he was wrong about. In other words (pun intended), the correct facts, opinions, idea, etc., naturally have to follow.
Why is it so hard to say these three words? As opposed to “I am sorry” that suggests more of a temporary (perhaps one-time) moral or behavioral “slip,” “I was wrong” strikes at our own cognitive abilities: lower intelligence, lack of analytical ability, slipshod ratiocination, and so on. It is a sign that we didn’t do what humans are supposedly the best at doing: THINKING.
Even worse, in this era of viral social networking, the damage that disinformation can cause is huge. Put another way, the personal issue is completely secondary to the macro-social implications of spreading disinformation. We see this in off-the-cuff comments (e.g., President Trump suggesting injecting bleach to prevent or cure Corona) and even more insidiously, the anti-vaccination rumors and so-called “truth-telling” about a life-and-death issue.
By now it is clear that the anti-vaxxers were completely wrong – about the Coronavirus being “just another flu,” and the “dangers” of the vaccine “based on an unproven technology (mRNA).” It was known from the start (for anyone willing to devote just a few minutes “Google research”) that because the new, synthetic mRNA vaccines don’t use actual virus particles, they are safer than the former vaccine technologies that use live or weakened proteins from a real virus. Not to mention that the mRNA technology has actually been around for several years – and that thousands of people went through test vaccination before it was allowed to be distributed to the public. So, whether from ignorance and laziness (misinformation) or to gain some limelight (disinformation), the anti-vaxxers should be using this 10-day “Aseret Yemai Teshuva” period not merely for the usual (and usually perfunctory) “I Am Sorry” missive, but to proclaim loud and clear “I Was Wrong!”
Anything less than that and there can be no real repentance on Yom Kippur, as other ignorant, gullible, or unsuspecting people continue to refuse vaccination because of these unfounded rumors and false facts, remaining a serious health threat not only to themselves, but especially to the rest of us.
