My wife and I made Aliyah in our senior years from the United States, and met in Israel.
Daniel Goldschmidt – Our futile effort to be married in Israel
My wife and I made Aliyah in our senior years from the United States, and met in Israel. In keeping with our love of Israel and each other, we decided to marry, as citizens, under the laws of Israel. The Orthodox rabbinical council has complete jurisdiction on all official Jewish marriages held in Israel. Due to our love and commitment for our new country we desired to be married within this system.
My future wife grew up, worked, and married in New York, before moving to the South, and subsequently getting divorced. Religiously she had embraced Reform Judaism as an adult was a strong Zionist, and eventually made Aliyah eight years ago.
I was raised in a moderate sized city in the midwest, attended both school and university in the area, raised a family, and was in business there. The city city had a a small Jewish population barely supporting an Orthodox Synagogue, and a reform Temple which my family were founders of, and I was a member of. Due to our city being located in the Bible belt I experienced rampant antisemitism in the form of name calling, beatings after school, and exclusion socially. In my adulthood I became an observant Reform Jew. Raised as a strong Zionist I made Aliyah five years ago after my retirement.
We were advised by our friends that receiving permission to marry which requires the approval of the Orthodox Rabbinical court in Israel might be difficult, particularly because of our Reform background, but this was our preference, as opposed to being married over seas, which is valid under the laws of Israel. This led to the following events in our attempt to receive authorisation to be married within the rabbinical system.
Wednesday June 24th-I visited the Rabbinical office and after a significant wait and brief interview was told to proceed to the Rabbinical court to apply for approval to be married. Fortunately an English speaking office worker was available since I am not a Hebrew speaker. I was aided in filling out several forms and advised to visit the Rabbinical court in another location.
Thursday July 9th- We visited the Rabbinical court and after a long wait and filling out more forms were ushered in to a pre-interview where we presented our birth certificate, divorce papers, and Israel certificate of identification. My future wife had her mother’s Ketubah with her. The interviewer in a surly manner suggested it was “Reform” which my fiancee informed him was impossible since it was from Poland prior to World War !!. He then asked me for a payment of 250NIS to discover whether I was a Cohen. (In Orthodox Judaism a Cohen cannot marry a divorced woman.) Then he informed us that he could set a court date sometime in October which we felt was unacceptable. Finally, he reluctantly assigned us a July 21st date.
Tuesday July 21st- We appeared at the Rabbinical court which consisted of a very imposing room with the judge as Rabbi elevated at the front of the room and we were seated below. My intended wife who does know Hebrew was questioned first, and when it was my time to appear she informed the judge since I have no command of Hebrew that she would need to translate. We were asked several questions and then told that we would be advised in about two weeks.
Thursday August 6th- Since it had been over two weeks we returned to inquire about the decision and were informed that it had been discussed but no decision had been made yet, and the judges were on vacation.
Tuesday August 11th- My fiancee received an email saying she had been approved to be married.
Tuesday August 24th-We returned again to inquire about the status of my approval and were informed that they were still considering my request. We told the clerk that we had planned to be married during the upcoming Jewish holidays. He sarcastically answered
“that there was still three weeks”.
Thursday September 1st- We were informed by e-mail that no decision had been made and the Rabbinical court was still trying to determine whether I was Jewish.
Wednesday December 9th-I was finally informed by e-mail that I was approved by the rabbinical court to be married. One never knows, I could have never heard since the policy of the rabbinical court is to leave the file open indefinitely.
Having heard nothing by the end of September we made arrangements to be married in Cyprus and were married October 14th in the beautiful resort town of Paphos. It is now December 1st, we are happily married, and our marriage is officially recognized by the state of Israel.
Our experience is not unique. Much of the Israel society which is 70% secular chooses to not even bother about being married due to the hypocrisy of the Rabbinical court. This status for their children when they marry will create much confusion since there will be no way to determine their status as Jews should they wish to be married in Israel. Those that are married outside the country as we were cause a substantial financial loss to the Israel economy. Based on our experience, even though both of us love our new chosen country, we plan to emphatically support progressive reform to remove marriage from the orthodox rabbinical judiciary.
Daniel Goldschmidt – Our futile effort to be married in Israel
