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Good Yom Tov! I bless everyone to have a wonderful Seder. Seder night can be the highest, the holiest, the deepest and the most exalted night.
1) KADESH!
Seder night, we begin with Kadesh (Kiddush). Everybody knows that holiness is the highest level a person can strive for. It takes a whole lifetime to really become holy. Seder night, we begin right on top. This is what our holy Rabbis teach us that even in exile, we can work our way up. Not to be in exile, to be free, means that I’m not afraid to jump on top, on the top of the top.
Seder night, our children feel so close to us, they are asking us all the questions. Why don’t our kids talk to us during the year? Because, sadly enough, we look at them with exile eyes. First, you go to cheder, then you go to yeshiva, then you go to college, then you get one Ph.D., and another one, and you marry a rich girl, and she pays for your third Ph.D. – you go slowly, slowly. This is all exile behavior. The truth is, every child has it in him to reach right away, from the first, for the highest, for the deepest. Anyone who is around children knows that there are times when children understand more than adults. Children are on the highest level. So, Seder night, after we call out Kadesh, our kids say, “Okay, if this is the way you look at life, we can talk to you again.”
I want you to know a very important thing. You always think that everything takes a lot of time. But, it doesn’t have to take time. First, you meet a girl, you’re not sure if you really like her. You shlep around with her for a year, then five years, then you get married and you like her a little bit more, and then finally, after 150 years, you love her. Really, though, if you love somebody very much, you just love them from the first moment on.
People who think it takes so long to get rich, when they see a poor man, they are not inviting him, they think, until this poor fellow will get rich, it will take so long, why should I invite him to eat in my home? On Pesach, it takes just one second. I say, this poor man, maybe he will become rich in just one second, so I say “Kal dichfin yetai veyaichal” – let every poor person come into my house and eat. I say to the poor man, don’t despair, maybe you’ll be rich tonight, maybe in just five minutes. A human being has to work himself up very slowly. It is a gift from heaven that sometimes, in just one second, I can reach the highest level.
To be in exile means I believe in G-d, but it depends on me and I have to work hard to get anywhere. Seder night, everybody knows, Seder night is a different thing. Since it’s a gift from heaven, why not ask right away for the highest thing? Begin with the highest, begin with Kadesh.
What is the difference between asking a human being for a favor and asking G-d for a favor? When I ask a human being for a favor, I cannot have the chutzpa to ask them for everything. If I don’t have a single penny, I can’t go to Baron Rothschild and ask for two billion dollars. But, with the Ribono Shel Olam, it’s the other way around. When I have nothing, that’s the time to ask for everything.
When we were slaves in Egypt, and G-d took us out, at that moment, we reached the highest level. “I, and not an angel, I am the Lord.” That was the highest, the most glorious revelation in the world. We treat our children in such a way that it takes so long for them to mature until we can talk to them. On Seder night, I know that everything can take just one split second. Everybody knows, the way we came out of Egypt was not slowly, slowly but, it was actually in one minute from “avdut lecherut“, from slavery to the highest level of freedom.
2) MAGGID! (Saying the Haggada)
Let me tell you my most favorite Pesach story. After one Seder with Rav Tzvi Elimelech, the Chassidim got together and said, “Rebbe, there is nobody who makes a Seder like you.” Rav Tzvi Elimelech said, “Let me tell you something. Moshele, the water carrier’s Seder was the best Seder, this year, in the world. I’ll let him tell you tomorrow what he did
The next day, after davening, the Chassidim went up to Moshele the water carrier and said, “The Rebbe wants to see you.” Moishele came before the Rebbe, and he began to cry bitterly. He said, if ‘Rebbe, I’ll never do it again. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” He was crying. The Rebbe said, “Listen, Moishele, just tell us what you did.”
Now, I always tell my friends that basically we Jews are not so much into drinking. But, in every city there is one Jew who drinks for all in that city. Then, there is some kind of higher drunkard, who drinks for the Jews of that country. And then, there are some lamed vov drunkards who drink for all the Jews of that generation. And then, there are some drunkards who drink for all the Jews from Avraham Avinu until Moshiach. Anyway, this Moishe, the drunkard, was a lamed vovnik. His greatest joy in life was drinking. The saddest thing is, on Pesach you can’t drink whiskey. So, he had a tremendous idea. He’ll stay up the whole night, erev Pesach, and he’ll be drunk for the rest of Pesach, he’ll be drunk right thru. Anyway, he drank, and even a drunkard who is a religious Jew knows that ten minutes after nine, on Pesach, you stop. He stopped exactly, and he was out.
Seder night, his wife came to wake him up and said, “Moshele, it’s really not fair. Every Jew has a Seder. Every house has a Seder. We have little children, and we don’t have a Seder. So what’s going on here?” And, he said, “By then, did I regret that I drank so much at night. Did I regret it! I would have done anything not to be drunk. But I couldn’t help it. I said, ‘Please wake me up in an hour. I just can’t get it together yet.’ Anyway, my wife kept waking me up every hour, every half-hour. Then, suddenly, she came to me and said, ‘Moishele, in five minutes, five minutes, it’s gone. You didn’t have anything and the children are waiting.’ “Gevalt“. He said, “was I broken. Here, my children are so holy and I am such a lousy father, I didn’t even give them a Seder. So, I said to my wife, ‘Please, call my children.’ She called the children in and I said to them, ‘Please, sit very close to me on my bed. I have to talk to you. I want you to know, children, that I am so sorry that I drank. I am so sorry that I am a drunkard. But, I want you to know that if my drinking can make me not have a Seder with you, then it’s not worth it.’ So, I said to my children, ‘I swear to you, Seder night, tonight, that I’ll never drink again. But, right now, it’s Seder night, I am so sorry, we didn’t eat matza, we didn’t eat maror. But, let me just tell you the Pesach story, in a nutshell.'”
Moishele said to the Rebbe, “You know, I was still drunk. But, I tried my best. I said, ‘Children, I want you to know that G-d created heaven and earth in seven days. And, I want you to know that Adam was thrown out of Paradise the first day. Then everything went downhill. There was a flood, there was a tower of Babylon; that was as much as I knew. Then came Avraham. He began fixing the world again. Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaakov and his twelve holy sons. Then Pharaoh made slaves out of us, and tonight, G-d took us out from Egypt. And, I said, children, I want you to swear to me right now, that you’ll always know that the same G-d who took us out from Egypt is still alive. It’s the same G-d. Whenever a Jew cries to G-d, G-d always hears our prayers and takes us out from all our troubles.'” “Rebbe, I’m so sorry. I couldn’t say anything more because I was still drunk. I turned over and I fell asleep again.”
So the heilege (holy) Reb Tzvi Elimelech was crying bitter tears. He said to his Chassidim, “Did you hear that? Did you hear that? I wish that one time in my life, I should be privileged to give over Yiddishkeit to my children, the way Moishele the water carrier gave it over to his children Seder night.” Gevalt.
There is a strong Alexander Torah. It is very deep and so important for us today. The Holy Alexander asks, “Why doesn’t the Seder begin right away with questions? The children could ask questions and then we would answer.” He answers that there are certain things which are s-o holy – don’t ask questions. Just take them the way they are. There are certain things in life you have no right to ask about because if you ask, you degrade them, you profane them. So, he says, when it comes to Kadesh (Kiddush), don’t ask. Urechatz (washing the hands), don’t ask. Karpas (vegetables), don’t ask. Maggid (saying the Haggada), then – you can ask. And, he says, the world is analyzing everything in the world, and they don’t know when to stop. They are destroying everything holy, by asking questions about things one shouldn’t ask.
It’s so clear to me that we adults analyze everything our children say. Was it clever, was it good, was it stupid? Then, the child is likely to say, I don’t want to talk to you. You destroy everything I say. But, Seder night, our children see that we know when to stop. We don’t tear everything apart. Out children say, Okay, I want to ask you a question. Don’t analyze it.
The first fixing, when you come out into freedom is, leave things whole. Imagine, if I tell a girl, I love you so much and she starts analyzing, how do you love me, when do you love me? Who wants to talk to her again? She can ask me what my name is, who my father is, what am I doing? But, certain things, don’t ask, don’t question. I always think that the book, “Why I am a Jew” is a real exile book. What do you mean, why am I a Jew? Don’t ask questions. Why do you love Israel? Don’t ask. Don’t touch it. Psychology, which analyzes everything and pulls everything apart, has not fixed the world yet. The world is still broken.
When G-d took us out of Egypt, the first thing was, leave things as they are. Later, you can ask. At a certain point, you can ask. And, even while you are asking, leave a little bit of privacy. There are certain inner depths that you don’t ask about.
I’m sure it’s clear to you that our children ask the deepest questions and the truth is that we don’t have the answers. You can read the entire Haggada, but the questions are still questions.
When somebody asks me a question and I answer, then basically our relationship is over. But, if someone asks me a question and I say, you know, I have the same question, let’s make the question even deeper, then we become so close to each other.
I have a feeling that when Eliyahu HaNavi (Elijah the Prophet) comes in “Tishbi Yitareitz Kushiot Ubaayot (He will answer all questions)”, he doesn’t say anything. He walks into the Seder and he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t answer. Suddenly, the question is so deep, maybe it doesn’t need an answer.
We lose our children because we tell them we have the answers to everything. Our children know that it’s not true. They don’t want to talk to us. Seder night, I tell my children, so, I’m a few years older than you. You think that I know more? Maybe I know the story a little bit longer, but I don’t know the answer. I don’t know the answer. Then, our children feel so close to us. So close.
3) Wine vs. Matza
Basically, we have teeth in order to chew, to cut down to our size. The truth is, you are not permitted to use your teeth when it comes to Yiddishkeit. Don’t use your teeth. You can maybe chew only in such a way that it should get into your insides, but don’t make something else out of it.
What is the difference between the chacham (wise son) and the rasha (evil son)? They are both asking, why do you eat matza on Pesach? Sure, I need to use my teeth in order to get it inside me. But, the rasha begins to chew, to analyze what is this Halacha – explain to me everything. What is the matza all about, the wine? So, I say, please, rasha, don’t chew around in my Torah.
I have seen many married couples going to marriage counselors and they chew around in their marriage. There is nothing left after that. So, Seder night is not only the fixing of our stomach – it s the fixing of our teeth. How to chew, when to chew, what to chew.
Why do we drink wine first? Because wine we don’t chew – we drink it just the way it is. It goes into us just the way it is. Matza requires chewing, but, certain things, you must take them the way they are.
What is an exile Jew? An exile Jew is anybody who chews on Yiddishkeit, who says, this is relevant, this isn’t relevant, this is good, this is not so good. What are the four cups of wine? Take it the way it is.
When you love somebody very much, when you kiss somebody, you put your teeth in your lips on that person. You know what you are telling that person? I am never going to chew. Our relationship is non-chewable. It’s the way it is.
When Yaakov Avinu brought wine to Yitzchak, he kissed him. Yitzchak didn’t ask for wine. Yaakov, when he came to be blessed, brought it himself. Wine represents taking the whole thing the way it is.
When the Haggada says, “ve’ata hakheh et shinov — and you break his (the evil son’s) teeth”. It doesn’t mean cut out his teeth. It means cut out the teeth that destroy, teach him how to chew, and what to chew.
4) Mah Nishtana
There is a Torah from the Baal Shem Tov. The Mishna says, “Vekan haben shoel“, “And here the child asks.” On this the Holy Baal Shem Tov says, whatever we do here is happening in heaven also. Not only are our children asking us, we can also ask G-d at this moment, for everything in the world. “Vekan haben shoel“. Here we can ask G-d for everything in the world. Why do we wear white Seder night? The Holy Sochachover answers with “Vekan haben shoel“. Our children open up for us the gates to the Holy of Holies. And we know that by all the Tzaddikim, first their children and grandchildren would say, Mah Nishtana and then, they would say it.
Let me tell you one more story right now. The heilege (holy) Ziditchover had so many grandchildren. But, one particular year, he said, “My grandson Bereshel should ask Mah Nishtana.” Bereshel was then five years old; later on he became Rav Bereshel of Donina, a very great Rabbi. Comes time for Mah Nishtana and Bereshel isn’t there. They started looking for him high and low. He’s not there. Here, I interrupt myself with another story about Bereshel.
Bereshel was the favorite of his grandfather, because in that year one of the other grandchildren got very sick. Very, very sick. The mother of the child was begging the Ziditchover to please pray for him. Nothing happened. One night, the boy’s condition worsened. It seemed he was going to leave the world. The Ziditchover, from 12:30 A.M. until three in the morning, did not want to be disturbed. He was writing his commentaries on the Zohar and did not want to be disturbed. But, someone had to tell him. They decided to wake up Bereshel and he will tell the Zeide. Bereshel was five years old. They tell him, tell Zeide that if he doesn’t pray now, it will be too late.
Bereshel walks up to the higher floor, to his grandfather. He knocks on the door. His grandfather asks, “Who’s there?” “Bereshel.” “Why aren’t you asleep?” Bereshel said, “Zeide, I came to bring you the most unbelievable good news. I want you to know that Moishele is getting better every second. But, Zeide, please pray for him. Please, Zeide, pray for him.”
The holy Ziditchover prayed for him. He got well. The Ziditchover called in all his children and grandchildren. He said, “Do you know why I couldn’t pray for Moishele the whole time? Because the way you asked me to pray for him was with so much sadness, so much brokenness. I felt so broken. I couldn’t pray. But, you know who is a Rebbe? Bereshel. Did you hear how he asked me to pray? He said, ‘I bring you good news, Moishele is getting better, but I want you to pray.’ Didn’t I understand what was going on? When Bereshel is sent up in the middle of the night to tell me. But, the way he said it, with so much hope. I want you to know, Bereshel is a Rebbe.” And, the truth is, Bereshel really became the successor of his grandfather later on.
Back to Seder night. Everyone is looking for Bereshel and, suddenly he comes in. Water is running down from his peyos (sidecurls). He just came from the mikva. Before asking his grandfather Mah Nishtana, he wanted to go to the mikva. His mother yelled at him, “What chutzpa” But his grandfather said, “Let him alone. Bereshel is a Rebbe.”
This is a Torah from Rav Nachman. Sometimes our children ask us, and we can take our time in answering. Sometimes if we take our time, we will lose them. Rav Nachman says, if our children ask us, is there one G-d and we say, let’s talk it over – we’ve lost them. If they ask for advice, what should they do, what career they should have, we can say, let’s talk about it. If they ask, are you a Jew, if you have to think about it, that’s not good. He said, Seder night is when our children ask, is there one G-d? And, our answer has to be right away. Don’t take any time.
I remember once reading a book written by one of the outstanding Jewish leaders of the other religions. This outstanding leader writes in the forward to his book that when he was a little boy he once asked a rabbi if there is one G-d. The rabbi said, let’s discuss it. Come to my house and we’ll discuss it. He quoted from here, he quoted from there. The boy said, I’m just asking one question, is there one G-d or not? He couldn’t get an answer out of him. The next week, he met a swami and asked him, is there one G-d? The swami said, yes, there is. Seder night is when I tell my children there is one G-d. There is one Torah. There is Eretz Yisroel. I have no time. It has to be fast.
When somebody is drowning, imagine if I would say, let me call a Rabbi and ask if I should save this person, because I heard that last year this person ate ham on Yom Kippur. I call one rabbi; the line is busy, so I call somebody else. All these things are cute. In the meantime, the person is drowning.
You know the problem with us Yidden, you know why Moshiach didn’t come yet? Because we waited, we waited so long. How did Moshe Rabbeinu get us out of Egypt? Right now is the time – “Bachatzot halayla” in the middle of the night – right now, don’t think. This is “mochin degadlus” a high mind. It is not, not, thinking. It is clearer than thinking. It is clear to me. It is on such a high consciousness level, a deep level.
When I see somebody drowning, where do they grasp me? Do they reach for my head? They reach for somewhere else; they have to touch the deepest depths of my understanding, that triggers something so holy.
So, Seder night, everything is fast, but it’s so clear, and it’s so good. “This I do not say other than when matza and maror are placed in front of me.” Everything is clear. I can tell my child this is matza, this is maror, I am a Jew, there is one G-d.
You know friends, we are living in a world where the devil would like so much to take advantage of the great moments which we have. Seder night, every Jew wants to have a Seder. So, what does the devil do – brings chicken soup, and kneidlach. Sometimes I ask people, how was the Seder? They say, oh, the food was unbelievable. When you ask about the Seder, they are not thinking about the Haggada, they are thinking about the food.
I was in India three years ago. I asked one boy, he was a yogi who didn’t want to come back. I asked him what he knew about Yiddishkeit. He said, “Once a year my family got together for a Seder. The spokesman of the Seder was my uncle who told over all the dirty jokes he heard all year. One night, I got up and said, I don’t think this is what the Seder is all about. My uncle said to me, ‘Look who’s talking. You haven’t even finished Hebrew school yet. What do you know?’ So, I thought that if all Yiddishkeit can offer me is a night with dirty jokes and chicken soup, who needs it, who wants it?”
When my daughters’ teeth hurt, I send for the best dentist. When my children are sick, I call for the best doctor. When it comes to Yiddishkeit, the soul of the soul, the eternity of all eternities of my children, would I subject them to the lowest people in the world, who don’t know anything?
This is a Torah from Rav Nachman. He says that, basically, the downfall and the ultimate slavery in Egypt were brought about because we ate from the Tree of Knowledge. Eating from the Tree of Knowledge causes you to eat your bread with sadness. The beginning of the Seder is that we eat Karpas, we eat a little vegetable and, a few moments later, we are on the level of eating bread with simcha, with joy. Matza is on the level of eating bread with joy. From the beginning of the Seder, to the matza, we are fixing everything from the Tree of Knowledge. And, it goes so fast, so fast.
Chametz is that everything takes a long time. This is the downfall of mankind. The world says, we have to wait for peace. It takes time until it comes. Always waiting, waiting. Matza is the first admission in the service of G-d; today is a great moment – don’t wait.
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