Jonathan Feldstein: Israeli Pride in the Wake of the War
This week, I brought my youngest son to join the IDF. It’s a point we have anticipated from the day he was born, 19 years ago this week, but was especially poignant and a source of pride, especially in the wake of the war. My pride was multi-dimensional.
I knew that taking my youngest son to join the IDF was a big deal intellectually, but as it was happening, it became powerfully emotional. Most of the emotion was out of pride, the privilege to raise a son who is motivated to serve in the IDF, and who has the privilege to do so.
It’s a huge point of pride that he was not only not content just to join and be drafted as most Israeli men are, but that he wanted to do more than the position for which he was being drafted. So, he went into his service prepared to engage his first battle in the IDF fighting to do more for the IDF. By refusing to accept the position that the IDF tapped him for, he could have started his army career in army jail.
It’s no less a point of pride that as the “baby” in the family, three older sisters joined us to send him off to the charge of the IDF for three years. They could have slept later, but they chose to be there, sharing the pride we all felt, encouraging and celebrating him and this milestone.
Most friends and family overseas can’t really understand this beyond the conceptual, much less how it is an extraordinary privilege and point of pride to live in Israel today, to raise your children to serve, to be part of building our future.
This is no less the reality in light of the war that we are in the midst of. The challenges motivate us, and give us a greater sense of pride as a people and nation, even with the many imperfections that exist. This was no little part of what motivated him to want to do more after a year of tremendous growth in a pre-army preparatory program.
Despite being in Israel 20 years, veteran immigrants by every definition, we’re still green in many ways. With limited experience in sending children to the army, and my not having the privilege to serve myself, I had little to offer by direct tangible help, or connections, to get him the better position that he sought.
Short of writing to the Chief of Staff or Minister of Defense (which I was prohibited from doing), and with several offering to help, there was little I could do. But he was determined, fought for more, and won. And he did it himself.
He’s our second son to serve in the IDF, but the first of our children born in Israel, the first since my father was born here in the 1930s. The first native-born Israeli to serve in this generation. If my father could see, he’d be bursting with pride like us all.
We raised our children to serve, do their best in and for the country, to give, not expecting to get something back, and not to abandon this duty and privilege. They all understand that and embody it. They, we all, understand that we are investing in the present for our future. Yes, there are sacrifices. But there is endless pride.
I am sure that my emotions were all the more charged because of the war. Yes, there are risks. Since October 7, several hundred soldiers have been killed. Chocking back my tears was not out of fear, but because we were here, with the privilege to bring him to this occasion.
As the first Israeli-born member of our family in three generations, I always think of the two people he’s named for: my great-grandfather and my father’s cousin. Both were victims of the Nazi genocide. While my father’s cousin was old enough to know that there was a place called Israel that he prayed for, and maybe knew that he had a cousin here, he was a child when he was murdered. My great-grandfather of course knew, knew his daughter (my grandmother) made it safely here, and had a son. He must have been elated knowing that his grandson would grow up in our ancestral home.
Neither have graves of their own but today, if they were watching, they’d be amazed to see that a young man who is named after them, joined the army of the State of Israel and Jewish people, to ensure that Jews like them will never be victims unable to protect and defend themselves.
There are many reasons not to sleep these days. Now I have a new one. Not only can I not just call or text him to check in, but I am now back in the stage of looking at my phone even in the middle of meetings to see if he is calling, and if he does, to take his call no matter who I am meeting with.
I sent him off in a pair of shorts, a T-shirt, and sneakers. In a few days, he’ll come home in a crisp new uniform and a green beret indicating that he’s still a new recruit. As much as I didn’t anticipate the emotions sending him off, but of course was not surprised, I can’t wait to see him come home looking at his part as the soldier.
I pray that he serves with the same pride that I have for him, a safe and meaningful service and that he has the same privilege years from now to take his own child to serve and know the pride that I know.
