Once again Daniella Ashkenazy Treats Us to “Daily Life” in Israel according to the Hebrew Press.
Daniella Askenazy – Chelm On The Med. October 2015
Once again Daniella Ashkenazy treats us to “daily life ” in Israel according to the Hebrew Press.
In her recently-released study Sandals – Anthropology of an Israel Fashion, professor of anthropology and sociology Tamar El-Or made a ground-shaking discovery: The iconic ‘Biblical-style sandal’ – as intimately associated with Israel as the kova tembel – was not modelled after an archaeological find after all. Examination of archaeological relics in Israeli museums revealed that the local sandal of antiquity – the ‘Bavta sandal’ was closer in style to flip-flops. So where did the sturdy no-frills ‘Biblical sandal’ come from? The name sandal tanachi* originated in the 1940s, the successful branding ploy of a Czech immigrant. Not only did the founder of Nimrod Sandals coin the name, the shoe store was merely ‘judaizing’ a style called ‘Jesus sandals’ that existed in Central Europe… (Yisrael HaYom, HaAretz)
* Tanach – an acronym for the Hebrew Bible.
CANE MUTINY
Barbie Dolls come with mind-boggling choices of accessories, from shoes and pocketbooks to sports cars and kayaks…zillions of fairytale props of a perfect world. Skirting the controversy whether Barbie’s unattainable proportions play a role in the anorexia epidemic, Efrat Iwanir, a student at the Holon Technology Institute has added a unique new set of accessories you won’t find in Toys R Us – that can be self-manufactured on any 3-D printer: a Barbie Doll size cane, crutch, and walker.
Iwanir hopes not only parents of children with special needs will download the free 3-D print file (HERE), but also parents of other kids…as a medium to nurture inclusiveness and acceptance of exceptional kids. (Israel HaYom)
MIRACLE OF THE FISH
They say a good administrator doesn’t have to be an expert in the field he or she manages; one only needs to know how to employ and listen to the professionals…but the head of the Science and Technology Committee of the Knesset seems to be stretching this bit of wisdom.
In the course of horse trading power bases in the Knesset, the S & T Committee fell to MK Ori Maklev from the ultra-Orthodox Yahadut HaTorah party. The new chair promptly put his foot in his mouth during deliberations about the Interuniversity Institute for Marine Sciences in Eilat with an ‘original’ explanation why lakes only freeze over at the surface that defied science. Maklev said that the temperatures at the bottom of lakes and oceans are lower than at the surface, however, “while cold sinks,” he added, “due to Devine Providence and faith only the surface freezes over in order to allow life to continue for the multitude of marine creatures in the waters.” (Yediot)
TASTERS’ CHOICE
Israeli innovation is everywhere.
Take Technion computer science students Michal Friedman, Yoav Mizrachi, and Zorik Gechman who – seeking a ‘cool’ final project for their course in ‘computer programming in an Android environment’ – decided to design a working prototype for a robotic barman.
The contraption holds eighty bottles of alcoholic beverages and three bottles of juice and can mix five different cocktails to perfection within seconds, so much so that tasters said they couldn’t tell the difference between the ‘look ma, no hands’ drinks concocted by the Robodrink machine, and those prepared by an experienced flesh-and-blood bartender. (Yediot)
* Anyone out there with an airport vending machine company? Contact the course instructor, Associate Professor Yossi Gil at [email protected].
A KERNEL OF TRUTH
Yiddish literature professor Ruth Wisse related the following classic Jewish joke: Four Europeans go hiking together, get lost, then run out of water. “I’m so thirsty! I must have tea,” says the Englishman. “I’m so thirsty! I must have wine,” says the Frenchman. “I’m so thirsty! I must have a beer,” says the German. “I’m so thirsty! I must have diabetes,” says the Jew….
An OECD* study shows Israel may have one of the lowest mortality rates from heart disease – third after Japan, France, and South Korea, but when it comes to diabetes, the Jewish state ranks third in the world – with one of the highest incidence of diabetes: a whopping 27 percent Israelis age 60-76. (Israel HaYom)
* Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development
TERMS OF ENGAGEMENT
Motor scooterists and motorcyclists found themselves the victims of crossed signals at the Israel Police Force when the traffic division announced two-wheeled vehicles could use public transportation lanes during rush hour, while highway patrols delighted in issuing 250 NIS fines to anyone so foolhardy to do so, because it turns out that the Police Force can’t change the law. Only the Minister of Transportation has such powers to exempt two-wheeled vehicles.
One exchange between an Israeli cop and a driver being ticketed was caught on film and accompanied the news item. As New York Times commentator David Books astutely observed in a gem-of-a-column published in 2009 aptly entitled “A Loud and Promised Land”: “Israel is a country held together by argument”…
Chelm readers are invited to compare the above encounter between a luckless motorcyclist and an Israeli cop (you don’t need to know Hebrew, just watch the animated body language), and instructions of how to behave when pulled over by an American cop… (YNet)
IN THE EVENT OF A ‘TAX EVENT’?
Do tax authorities finally aspire to bring ‘within the tent’ (when it comes to paying income taxes) generous tips to religious persona such as spiritualists giving advice or blessings, handing out talisman or holy water, after such gestures were waved for years as gifts – tagged merely a way of saying thanks.
Now such functionaries will be expected to write invoices and receipts for such gratuities.
Of course, the devil is in the details: The draft contains a fuzzy clause that stipulates that in certain undefined circumstances, there are un-circumscribed cases where giving money constitutes “a gift that does not require tax”… (Yisrael HaYom)
WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?
In January 2015, Shai Ochana was stabbed in a terrorist attack commuting to work in Tel-Aviv by bus. The assailant severed the tendons in his wrist; after treatment at the hospital Ochana, who had been living and working in Tel Aviv at the time, returned to his parents’ home in Arad to recuperate. Ochana gathered himself together and submitted a claim with Israel’s national insurance institute – Bituach Leumi – for compensation, only to receive a letter in response asking the following question – answers demanded by pencil pushers to process his claim: Number one: “Who was the terrorist?” Number two: “Do you know him personally?” And last but not least: “Why did he stab you?”
A spokesperson apologized for sending the letter and its gist, claiming National Insurance “doesn’t customarily send letters such as this.” (Yediot)
NOT WITHOUT MY ARTIK*
In a rash of knifing attacks, an Arab woman from Nazareth who tried to stab a soldier in the Afula central bus station was surrounded by half a dozen Border Police with weapons drawn yelling ‘drop the knife!’ But focus on the incident moved lickity-split from the attacker to the soldiers who neutralized the terrorist, after a short video shot by a bystander caught a junior member of the patrol (who turned out to be a raw recruit) aiming at the terrorist with her short Galil assault rifle…while still tightly holding on to a half-eaten popsicle… (Mako.com and Rotter.com)
* Hebrew for popsicle
AN EARFUL
A soon-to-be divorcee claims his soon-to-be ex-wife had broken the law when she planted a bug in one of the floppy ears of their daughter’s rabbit-shaped smichi (security blanket), then used the recordings from when the toddler was in her father’s custody to gather incriminating conversations the mother subsequently used as leverage in their Family Court proceedings.
A cop investigating the ‘illegal wire tapping’ complaint shook his head labelling the tactic ‘a new one’ in his 17 years on the force, yet whether the underhanded tactic actually broke the law remains to be seen. (Yediot)
* And the ‘neighbors’? Assuming all’s fair in love and war, a Palestinian family was found to be ’storing’ four ammo clips inside their toddler’s teddy bear. (Israel HaYom) Anotherexemplar (Hebrew slang for ‘a piece of work’) boarded a Jerusalem bus armed with…an infant (and a butcher knife in a sock which he stashed under his seat). (Yediot)
PALM READING
Looking for a lucrative occupation to make money literally hand over fist? Become a translator… but not just any translator: Become a certified translator into sign language, a service underwritten by Israel’s National Insurance Institute – Bituach Leumi, under Israel’s accessibly laws…provided the entitled can find a translator. There are only 250 translators in Israel who know how to sign
The going rate is 250 NIS ($65.80) an hour at big gatherings, 85-110 NIS ($22.37 – 29) at university lectures and 150 NIS ($39.50) at private gatherings, but that’s for Hebrew signing. Those who can sign in other languages in high demand such as Arabic, Russian and Amharic will really have their hands full, especially if they live on the periphery.
Bar-Ilan University offers a two year course, but before graduates get certified they must complete 560-hours of hands-on experience. (Yediot)
THE TRUE THRUST OF HER MESSAGE
Hannan Abu Hussein’s new exhibition, crowned by a conceptual installation – a ceiling covered with an assortment of realistic knives pointing downward (all cast in concrete but very life-like, daring visitors to walk under them) just opened at the Barbour Gallery in Jerusalem.
The timing might be exceedingly sticky to say the least, but – no, the topic has nothing to do with current events…nor is it inflammatory by any measure: The exhibition by the Bezalel graduate born in Um el-Fahem – entitled Herut l’Rega (Momentary Freedom) – is devoted to excoriating ‘honor killings’* in Arab society. (Calcalist)
* a potential ‘death sentence’ hanging over many Muslim women’s heads, where male members of a family murder their own spouses or daughters for behavior – real or imagined, that ‘shames their family’ that can range from wearing jeans to adulterous conduct.
CHAIN REACTION
As a precautionary measure, supermarket chains in Israel have taken knives off the shelves in the kitchenware department.
“What’s the wisdom of checking* clients at the door to our branches* when they enter, when they can equip themselves with a knife inside the chain,” explained the head of the Rami Levi discount chain. (Yediot)
* security guards who open purses or ‘wand’ shoppers, a practice that began in 2000 to foil suicide bombers.
OUT ON THE TOWN
Fire fighters responding to a 3 AM call for assistance to free two injured passengers trapped in a car on Route 4 in the Sharon after a collision with another vehicle, found themselves ‘high and dry’ after a smashed customer walked out of a nearby pub, and discovering the keys still in the ignition took off with their fire truck, siren sounding.*
The 20 year-old drunk driver barrelled down the highway lights flashing and siren blasting with a squad car in hot pursuit, dodging a number of roadblocks in the process, before being cornered in the environs of Hadera. (Israel HaYom)
* Admit it, now who hasn’t secretly daydreamed of doing something like this!
MASHED!
How should Israelis cope with anxiety?
During the 1991 Gulf War, IDF spokesperson Nachman Shai suggested Israelis take a deep breath and drink a glass of water after each salvo of rockets from Iraq. In response to the current wave of terrorist attacks, Yediot devoted a full page article to suggesting calm could be restored – at lease internal calm – by downing a hefty portion of mashed potatoes, offering readers a gourmet chef’s killer* recipe for this energizing comfort food. (Yediot)
* including 250 grams (more than 8 oz.) of butter and up to 2 cups of milk or olive oil for a kilo of boiled potatoes…
IT’S A NEW BALLGAME…
Although eligibility to buy firearms has been relaxed (lowering required reserve officer status, from captain to second lieutenant), run-of-the-mill Israeli citizens are resorting to all sorts of alternative protective measures* when out and about – registered in the growing popularity of ‘walking sticks’ (as Arik Einstein’s 1969 pop hit ‘Abraham and Sara’ declares – ‘If the Creator desires, even a broomstick can shoot’). And, there’s a sudden interest among Israelis to take up American baseball…or at least baseball bats.
One plucky middle-aged Jerusalem matron was captured by a photojournalist sitting on a public bus with a wooden rolling pin poking out of her handbag. (Yediot)
* one assailant attacking a pedestrian with a knife was clobbered on the head by a gutsy local merchant armed with an umbrella.
NOT SO SMART…
The epidemic of run-of-the-mill citizens ‘documenting’ unfolding events with their smart phones to post the dramatic images on Facebook or beam to the media could have tragic consequences warns the Israel Police’s Negev Special Recognisance Unit.
When members of the rapid response unit sought to locate and neutralize the Palestinian terrorist armed with a fire arm lurking somewhere in the Beersheva mall, they found themselves facing a barrage of flashing cell phone cameras at every turn that in the blink of an eye, could be misinterpreted as the flash of a gun barrel. (Israel HaYom)
WRONG ADDRESS
Israeli architect/interior designer Orly Eran, found herself facing a law suit filed by the Tel Aviv Municipality for a 7-8 cm (3 inch) deviation in the placement of one of the exterior walls of the building plan she drew up. A municipal affairs magistrate threw the Municipality out of court saying the accusation was what was misplaced.
If city hall insisted on drawing and quartering an offender (figuratively speaking) for breaking the Planning and Construction Law by three inches, they should have sued the contractor who carried out Eran’s plans, or the building engineer who oversaw construction, said judge Itai Hermalin. (Calcalist)
OH MY GAASH!
Kibbutz Gaash has rolled out a prototype for a souped-up lamppost for streets and parks designers describe as “a streetlamp with sechel (Yiddish for ‘smarts’)” that can come packed with a surveillance camera, wi-fi Internet* and sensors that measure air pollution and monitor traffic volume. The only optional feature the designers apparently overlooked is…a loud speaker.
What for? Ask the Rechovot Municipality About eight years ago, Rechovot planted a pair of video cameras attached to a set of very loud speakers in two public parks that had repeatedly fallen victim to vandals. Wireless technology linked the surveillance equipment to the local police station, thus allowing the nighttime duty officer to scare the wits out of potential troublemakers before they could kick the daylights out of their first trash can. The Booming-Voice-Out-of-Nowhere made it clear that a squad car would be on the way if those already caught on camera didn’t behave.
(Yediot) * as a public service for the citizenry, or only for conductivity between the lamppost and municipal communication hubs.
VIRTUAL SOLIDARITY
Business and commerce in the capital is suffering painfully from a sharp drop in traffic. Mayor Nir Barkat – an ex-hi tech entrepreneur – ordered the Jerusalem municipality to set up an online platform where any and all Jerusalem businesses can advertise their products or services – allowing residents…in fact, anyone anywhere in the country who wants to express their solidarity, a way to patronize Jerusalem businesses by placing orders online and having their purchases home delivered. (Israel HaYom)
FREUDIAN SLIP?
As the 20th anniversary of Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin’s assassination (on November 4, 1995) approaches, Channel 10 television – renowned for its hostile relations with the presiding prime minister – faced an embarrassing blooper after the channel’s presenter in a promo for an upcoming ‘Rabin special’ spoke of “the 20th anniversary* of the assassination of prime minister Bibi Natanyahu”… (>Maariv, Kikar.com)
* If that wasn’t enough, Rabin’s granddaughter attorney-at-law and scriptwriter Noa (nee Ben Artzi) Rothman responding to a surfer’s question whether the 20th anniversary would be marked as a work holiday, retorting in a talkback on Maariv’s website “perhaps with the murder of Natanyahu there will be [a holiday]”…
GOING THE EXTRA MILE
Not just at funerals*: Dozens and dozens of Israelis demonstrated their support for lone soldiers by meeting Yonatan Hadar at the finishing line of the traditional 70 kilometer march that climaxes in receipt of his much-coveted brown Golani Brigade beret, after Hadar’s mother in New York posted a note on Facebook saying she couldn’t be there at the ceremony like the parents of his buddies**, asking perfect strangers to serve as surrogate parents.
The well wishers at the finishing line at the Golani Memorial Junction on the road to Tiberius came from as far away as Rechovot, armed with food and presents and hugs of appreciation. (Yediot)
* For those who may have missed this story from Protective Edge in the summer of 2014: Twenty-thousand people from all over the country came to the funeral of Sergeant Sean Carmeli z”l from Texas in Haifa and 30,000 attended the funeral of Sergeant Max Steinberg z”l from California in Jerusalem – mourners for soldiers whom they didn’t know at all, while 7,000 Ashkelonians braved rockets to do the same as an act of gratitude for Sergeant Jordan Bensemhoun z”l from Lyon France and his family, a third ‘lone soldier.
** see video clips of such only-in-Israel style parents’ days that climax each leg of training in the Israeli army’ on Golani’s facebook page – particularly this one that captures the ‘tone’ of the gathering.
A WORD TO THE WISE…FOR STORKS
Is seasonal migration a wise choice for storks? Sure enough, it was an Israeli doctoral student who asked this out-of-the-box question. It’s already known that young storks in their first year of life depend on flocks of older storks to navigate the way to Africa and back…if they can keep up with the flock or can ‘re-attach’ to a later flock if they get lost…but how many actually survive?
The Israeli ornithologist followed 18 offspring of German storks, fitting the fledglings with solar-powered GPS devices just before they left their nests. (Now you realize, to accomplish this, someone had to climb up ‘Fiddler on the Roof’ style to reach the storks nests built in treetops, on rooftops, church spires, telephone poles and just about anything else that’s tall and has a decent view.)
While the doctoral student emerged from the research unscathed, it turns out that 70 percent of young storks died on the way.
All the more interesting – the last two chicks to hatch who ‘missed the last flight out’ and remained in Europe…both survived and were observed by German colleagues in snow-covered fields, providing food for thought: While the early bird may get the worm, the two latecomers hatched behind schedule, found ample people-food in garbage dumps in Europe even in the dead of winter. (Ynet)
* The birds, incidentally, are loyal to their two-meter wide nests and return to the same ones every year when they return in the spring. (Credit: “Green Violinist”, Marc Chagall, Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum, New York; “stork nest” FreeImages.com / Olympus Optical Co, Ltd.)
LAUGHTER IS THERAPEUTIC
Definitely worth repeating (even if it doesn’t originate in the Hebrew press, the following barb was coined by Members of the Tribe): Who isn’t aware of the plethora of twisted headlines abroad that talk speak of Arab fatalities/casualties of knifings in Israel (the perpetrators of the terrorist attack …without mentioning what they were up to or their victims). The LA Times took the prize with “Four Palestinians Killed in Israeli Violence.”
Staff at Jewlarious (one of my favorite watering holes) fought back with this gem: “Imagine reading this: September 11, 2001 – 18 Saudi Nationals Die in Tragic Plane Accidents”… There are more worth a wicked chuckle. (Jewlarious.com)
FLY ‘N THE OINTMENT
Israel received a warning from Lockheed-Martin that the IDF’s three squadrons of F-16s acquired in the 1980s should be grounded and closely inspected for metal fatigue: While designed to fly 9,000 hours, tiny fractures had appeared between the fuselage and the wings of several American jets after 7,000 hours of flight. The manufacturers’ examination procedure called for dismantling half the avionic systems in the plane in order to expose the fuselage from the inside, as well – something that would take months and require literally an army of technicians who were needed elsewhere.
How did the Israelis react?
They did the math, and chucked the manual. There had to be a better way!
Chief warrant officer Meir from the Aerial Maintenance Unit at the Tel Nof Airbase suggested employing a portable ultrasound unit – the kind found in maternity wards at hospitals, and smearing the outside of the fuselage with ultrasound gel to locate any tiny fissures present in the shell.
“When we told the Americans what we’d done, they started to laugh. And then they checked themselves and admitted our solution was preferable,” said the executive officer of the Air Maintenance Unit, Colonel Gadi. (Yediot)
WATCH YOUR BACK?
The famous statement of Biblical convert Ruth the Moabite (Ruth 1-4) to her future Israelite mother-in-law Naomi “your people will be my people” took a bizarre turn when retired American porn-film star Jenna Jameson who is in the process of converting to Judaism decided to publically throw her lot with the Jewish state in a series of tweets supporting Israelis who feel exposed and vulnerable to a sudden ‘stab in the back’…including a fetching photo of Jameson herself on her Facebook profile with an Israeli flag plastered to her exposed back… (Maariv – NRG.com)
THE ‘SITUATION’ WHERE DID YOU SAY???
Several national grocery chains have decided to equip their employees with bullet-proof vests after a number of knifings by Muslims…in Sweden. (Maariv nrg.com)
ALL WATER WORKS…
It may be the reflection of a semi-arid country – that the boys in the Tzofim or Israeli scouts traditionally put out campfires with ‘gear’ the girls are not equipped with – what’s called in Hebrew a ki’bui tzofi (putting out a fire ‘the Scout way’). But two brawny operators of a municipal pump tanker designed to clean up flooding from blocked storm drains and sewage lines up-scaled the Tzofi practice by turning the contents of their tankers towards putting out fires – three times: once at a construction site, once at a garage, and once to put out a wooden backyard deck going up in smoke.
Based on their record performance, the CEO of Rishon le-Zion’s water works has suggested the city’s sewer crews be officially appointed ‘first responders’ just like the firefighters. (Yediot)
HANDS-DOWN
With so many people overextended and running up an overdraft (Israelis included), finally someone has taken the bull by the horns! The Israeli non-profit Paamonim.org (‘bells,’ founded in 2002) has 2,500 volunteers who advise families in hock to guide them how to live within their means while offering non-interest loans to jump-start the process when needed.
Now, Paamonim has developed a free table game for kids 10 years-old and up called Tik-Tak-tziv* that can be downloaded as a pdf file, and printed out.
Players must not only take into account a myriad of expenses from food and clothing, to house insurance and extracurricular activities instead of buying Boardwalk and building hotels; running the household wisely includes all the ‘surprises’ in store such as a burst solar water heater that wasn’t in the budget, in lieu of drawing the classic “Go directly to Jail Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200” card. (Calcalist)
* a play on words combining both ‘tick-tock’ [sic. Hebrew slang for ‘in a jiffy’ even used as a verb] and tick tock-tziv or a ‘budget portfolio.’
EXTRA POINTS FOR VEGANS
It has been assumed that homo sapiens originated in East Africa 200,000 years ago, but findings in prehistoric Qesem caves near Rosh HaAyin – northeast of Tel Aviv, are challenging this unassailable truth.
The remains of an unknown prehistoric human species found at the site include four teeth that are different from the 300,000 year-old Neanderthal’s (not to mention the modern homo erectus’ dentures). Carbon testing dated the teeth as 400,000 years old – 100,000 earlier than the Neanderthal and 200,000 years earlier than the first homo sapien – suggesting the first inhabitants of the Fertile Crescent were indigenous, not migrants from East Africa.
Because the cave was sealed and buried under ten meters of earth, scientists were able to analyze tarter on the teeth that revealed the deceased ‘owner’ was primarily a vegan.
Archaeologist Professor Avi Gopher hypothesizes that ‘the extinction of elephants in the region led such prehistoric men to find alternative food sources.” But that doesn’t mean our ancestors turned down a good steak when opportunity knocked: The caves held the first signs of “manmade pollution” 400,000 years ago – evidenced by charcoal also found in the dental tarter which originated in the cave dwellers barbeque pits, say the excavators. (Yediot, American Friends of Tel Aviv University)
STANDARD BEARER
Reuven (Ruvi) Rivlin is setting new (modest) standards for the Israeli presidency, opting to fly home from a three-day state visit to the Czech Republic on an UP low-cost ($99 and up) El-Al subsidiary flight – shoehorned into an economy class seat for 3.5 hours, dozing and munching on simple sandwiches like everyone else…a choice met by applause from fellow passengers.
Not a one-time ‘photo op’ for the PR value, President Rivlin did the same (also sans any fanfare) in May 2015, on a state visit to Germany. (The Marker.com, Yediot)
Photo credit: Yediot correspondent Itamar Eichner
BUMPER CROP
Who can blame motorists for ogling Bar Rafaeli (and the sexy curves of other supermodels) plastered down the entire side of 18-story buildings along the Ayalon Freeway that cuts through the heart of Tel-Aviv?
Not many, it seems.
According to a new study by the Road Safety Commission in Israel, the number of accidents with casualties on the Ayalon skyrocketed by 50 percent when such gigantic signs were permitted (2007-2008) and were 30 percent greater than normal even when such billboards were permitted with minor limitations (the summer of 2009). By contrast, when the gigantic illuminated signs were temporarily banned by law (2008-summer 2009) accidents dropped by 30-40 percent.
Now that ‘the jury is in’ it is expected initiatives will be rekindled to ban the virtual vertical billboards on the Ayalon for good. (Yediot)
* Think Israel has a problem??? It was only after completion of the $15 M Mormon Temple at the side of the Washington DC’s Capital Beltway in 1974 that traffic engineers discovered drivers were being distracted by what looks like the castle out of the Wizard of Oz which suddenly appears in their field of vision, causing 260 collisions annually on this 4-mile stretch of eight-lane highway. There is even graffiti on a railroad overpass demanding “Surrender Dorothy” (DCInno).
