Sara Jacobovici – Inner-reflections from a turbulent source
Using the word “I” and dedicating a full post to my thoughts is a very new experience for me. Except for poetry, I have never written about my personal reflections. So I do this in humility.
I realize I am doing this as a way of coping with what I refer to as the world tilting. I have tried to make sense of my parents’ experiences during the Holocaust. I have tried to make sense of the struggle to form and secure a Jewish state. I have struggled with the presence of evil in the world. I am struggling…
Everything in nature is in a continuous process of being and becoming. It is only when it is no longer in this process that it can be remembered as what it was.
There have been many references to my turning the big 6, 0, this summer. True, it is a milestone but being true to my process oriented self, I move through this time rather than reach a number.
What inspires me to pause and reflect at this point in my journey however, is the idea of being at the halfway mark of my life; my midlife. (Yes, I have aspirations to live to 120.)
I can reflect…
I can reflect on how things have evolved over the first half of my life; experiences, events, people, feelings. But what stands out right now, is learning. I am learning a lot and am more aware of the learning today than ever.
One area of my learning has been in how I experience and express faith. I was influenced by my parents’ expressions of faith and have chosen to use those expressions as a framework for my own. How I have filled in that framework has been a ride! Now, as I pull over and stop to look at the view, I see an expanse that is made up of many areas of faith in the world, nature, life, people; the good, the bad and the ugly.
I am more aware…
I am more aware of being open to information or signs of communication coming from any source.
I am more aware than anything about choice; related to the what, where, who, when, why and how of my life.
I am more aware of questions being a process in and of themselves and that answers can be interesting by products. For example, my most current question:
When I wish for an outcome, which answer would I rather receive; that it will turn out the way I want or that everything will be alright?
I am more aware of a maturity (not a number) of being able to stop and ask, what purpose will it serve if I do this or say that?
I am more aware of being a responsible partner in any form of a relationship.
I am more aware that as long as I do everything that is in my control I will be able to adapt to any version of any outcome.
I am aware that my reflections and thoughts are inspirations of others who have been an influence in my life. So I conclude my “I” post with the writing of Viktor Frankl:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”