Paula R. Stern

Paula R. Stern – CNN’s Alternate Reality & Truth in the Joke of CNN and BBC

Paula R. Stern – CNN’s Alternate Reality & Truth in the Joke of CNN and BBC

CNN’s Alternate Reality

 

I read the headlines and I try to understand. I know what happened. I heard about it here. I saw pictures. I know what happened. And then I go to CNN and I’m speechless.

I know what happened. TEN mortars were fired into Israeli territory from Syria, and Israel responded.

Responded. That means they fired at us and we identified the source of the attack and fired back. Like any normal country, we fired back. We responded.

But CNN doesn’t understand the time table; the chicken or the egg is a discussion they’ve clearly never considered. Ten mortars are as nothing. Instead, CNN covered the incident in their classic manner. The best they could come up with was “Golan Heights: Israel strikes Syrian military”.

Really.

Really?

REALLY?

Really!

WE hit THEM?

Okay, technically it’s true. If you ignore half the facts…if you ignore the IMPORTANT facts. If you ignore the critical facts, the time frame, the order, the logic, the reality. We did indeed hit them…AFTER THEY HIT US.

When I was very little, my sister ran to my father and told him that I’d hit her. Now this may shock you, but it turns out I was a bit of a troublemaker when I was young and so, with little hesitation, my father came and punished me. In tears, I explained that my sister had hit me first.
My father was a bit surprised to hear this. My sister was as much not the trouble maker as I was normally the one to take action first. He confronted my sister, who didn’t lie. Instead, she defended, “yes, but she hit me back!”
We hit them BACK! Even as a five-year old, I knew that the one who hit first was the troublemaker, the one who caused the problem. We hit them back!

If you are CNN and you want to ignore reality, then yes, Israel did in fact strike the Syrian military because…because…OMG because they fired TEN “projectiles”…explosive projectiles over their border at us.

But yes, in the twisted world of CNN, Israel struck the Syrian military. And by the same twisted logic (less the element of antisemitism, bad journalism and anti-Israelism that plagues CNN), the World Trade Center took down two planes. London police killed three men after a car accident and something about a knife. In Manchester, a concert resulted in an incendiary device exploding.

The Boston Marathon security shot and killed one man (who had just set off some bombs, but never mind the details) and wounded another. In Israel, Palestinians are dying right and left in stabbing attacks, explosions, axing, and ramming attacks and yes, Israel attacked the Syrian military.

No, not really. Only in the twisted “reality” that is CNN.

Truth in the Joke of CNN and BBC

Old joke that’s gone around and around and each time it comes around, I think that as much as it’s a joke, it really isn’t. This is very much how Israelis are forced to live; forever proving that we are not the ones who started this fight – not in 1948 and not this week where more than a dozen mortars have fallen on Israeli territory (and CNN responded with headlines saying that our forces had attacked Syrian targets).

The Joke

A CNN reporter, a BBC reporter, and an Israeli commando were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.

The CNN reporter said, ‘Well, I’m an American, so I’d like one last hamburger with French fries.” The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the burger & fries. The reporter ate it and said “okay, I’m ready to die now.”

The BBC reporter said, ‘I’m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.” The terror leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and dictated some comments. The reporter then said, ‘Now I can die knowing I stayed true until the end.”

The leader turned and said, “And now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is your final wish?”

“Kick me in the ass,” said the soldier.

“What?’ asked the leader, “Will you mock us in your last hour?”

“No, I’m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,” insisted the Israeli. So the leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the ass.

The soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from under his flak jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his carbine and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the soldier was untying the reporters, they asked him, “Why didn’t you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?”

“What?” replied the Israeli, “and have you report that I was the aggressor?”

To Top